I had to take a small break from posting

I have been very high strung lately and I have had a horrible bout with my depression. 

I probably should have gone to the nut hut but I tried to fix it myself. I am still having a lot of trouble so i thought I would come here and write a little bit hopefully it will help me a little.

I have cut my legs so badly that I don't even know if I will be able to ever wear shorts again. I tried to slit my wrist but I could find the courage to press down hard enough to get the job done (thankfully). I have been having horrible flashbacks and nothing is helping to stop them. I am not sleeping well at all because of the nightmares which is adding so much more stress on top of every thing. I don't know what to do anymore I don't know how much longer I can handle the PTSD I just don't know or trust myself right now. I hope I figure it out soon.

I am sorry you had to read my rambling writing I just don't know what to do anymore.
I hope you all are having a wonderful day, night or morning!

I am sure I will be ok soon, I just have to try to stay positive and sometimes it is harder than others, right now I am just having trouble staying positive!!

It feels like everything is falling apart

I was doing really well I was happy and joyful and I loved my life. Now all of the sudden I don't want to talk to anyone I don't want to do anything I haven't even been to school in over a week. I feel miserable and lost.
I keep having a horrible flashbacks that I can't make go away, I was stuck in a three hour long flashback and I couldn't make it stop now they are happening all the time and the only way I am ok is if I am sleeping and even that isn't helping all the time because I am having horrible nightmares, I hate the so called men that did this to me I hate them with everything in me I hate that I feel afraid of my shadow I hate that I am scared.

I know I am just rambling but I really had to just get this out of me I had to find a way to let it go and I am hoping this is the way to get the letting go process started I thought it already had started but apparently it wanted to come back.