I had to take a small break from posting

I have been very high strung lately and I have had a horrible bout with my depression. 

I probably should have gone to the nut hut but I tried to fix it myself. I am still having a lot of trouble so i thought I would come here and write a little bit hopefully it will help me a little.

I have cut my legs so badly that I don't even know if I will be able to ever wear shorts again. I tried to slit my wrist but I could find the courage to press down hard enough to get the job done (thankfully). I have been having horrible flashbacks and nothing is helping to stop them. I am not sleeping well at all because of the nightmares which is adding so much more stress on top of every thing. I don't know what to do anymore I don't know how much longer I can handle the PTSD I just don't know or trust myself right now. I hope I figure it out soon.

I am sorry you had to read my rambling writing I just don't know what to do anymore.
I hope you all are having a wonderful day, night or morning!

I am sure I will be ok soon, I just have to try to stay positive and sometimes it is harder than others, right now I am just having trouble staying positive!!


  1. Hi, I've been following your blog awhile, & I am really concerned. Really think it's time you need to go to the ER tell them how you are feeling & get into some type of Treatment. Sounds to me like you may need to stay in the Hospital & let them treat you for your Depression & Suicidal Tendencies. I've been there & believe me, it isn't any fun. Some Hospitals have the very best Dr.'s Nurses, even the other patients can be very helpful. Please take care of yourself. Your children need a Mom who is healthy physically & MENTALLY. YOU NEED TO BE HEALTHY FOR YOURSELF AS WELL.

    Not preaching, just know where you're coming from & you'd be surprised what 30 days of Inpatient Care can do for your Mind, Body & Soul.

    Best wishes to you. I'll say a prayer hoping you'll take care, once & for all. It WILL all work out.

  2. OH Honey! I do agree with Susan that you need to talk with someone. Coming from a situation of abuse myself I can relate. I have a good support system now and when I get down or the PTSD becomes overwhelming I know it's time to talk to them or to like you said be positive. Please email me if you need to talk.

  3. thank you ladies I appreciate your kind words and I am taking some time to work on myself. I will be posting again here in the very near future I just have to find my words I will be ok, I have no choice but to be ok being a mom with an almost absent other parent makes it really hard.

    Thank you ladies again I appreciate your concern!