think positive!!

So I have been trying here lately to think more positive, it is very hard for me most of the time...

I have learned that as long as you are thinking positive, positive things will happen. I have had it happen to me. No matter what is going on as long as you stay positive no one can take that from you unless you let it.

Every adult in my house always seems to have a bad attitude but I have learned that as long as I stay positive and not let what they have going on effect me then I will be fine, so far it has worked for me.

If I can't fix it or change it now or in the near future why let it bother me? I just go on about my day and, not forget it but, I don't let it bother me until I can do something about it...

I hope everyone is having a wonderful day!!!!

I don't know if I can do this anymore

I have a confession...

I tried to kill myself last night. I tried to take all of my sleeping pills at once, but just as I put them in my mouth my girlfriend walked in I held them there for a few minutes but then I spit most of them out. I am a walking mess and I don't even know what to do with myself anymore. I am so tired of being in my head and feeling lost. My best friend is mad at me, my other good friend was mad at me last night and I always seem to make my girlfriend sad. I just feel like I can't do anything right anymore.

I just had to get this out of me I have too much on my plate.

Getting help

I have been seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist for about a year now and I keep having my ups and downs, But right now all of everything seems to be too much. I am thinking of going in for some in patient treatment at out local "nuthut" lol. I think I need something that is really going to help me something I haven't really tried yet I am having such a hard time with everything right nowImy flashbacks are horrible and the nightmares are even worse. I have been having thoughts of just ending it all so all of this will go away. I feel like I have been hurting everyone I come into contact with, I can't handle that anymore I don't want to hurt anyone physically or mentally but myself.

I just wanted to let everyone know what has been going on with me.  I will let you all know what is going on and if I went or not.