I have been seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist for about a year now and I keep having my ups and downs, But right now all of everything seems to be too much. I am thinking of going in for some in patient treatment at out local "nuthut" lol. I think I need something that is really going to help me something I haven't really tried yet I am having such a hard time with everything right nowImy flashbacks are horrible and the nightmares are even worse. I have been having thoughts of just ending it all so all of this will go away. I feel like I have been hurting everyone I come into contact with, I can't handle that anymore I don't want to hurt anyone physically or mentally but myself.
I just wanted to let everyone know what has been going on with me. I will let you all know what is going on and if I went or not.
Hey Woman! Your not alone! I am a terrible mess. I blubber at the drop of a hat. Seeing my ex's car or one like it sends me over the edge and I'm like a pile of goo.
ReplyDeleteA counselor told me that those that have experienced trauma may never get "over it" and the memories will be there for a long time. The amount of time it takes to heal is half of how long you were in that situation. Hope that makes sense. Such as, I was with the ex for over 20 years, so at it will take me about 10 years to get to the place where I shouldn't be a basket case.
I know where you are coming from! It's ok to fall apart. I did exactly that earlier! Anxiety attacks, random flashbacks, nightmares... PTSD stinks! The dang triggers are what annoy me. I can be in a public setting and someone says a word or does something and BOOM! There I go into myself or panic attack or I just get emotional.
I did get married a few weeks back and up to the night before I was unsure and told my fiancee that I didn't think I wanted to go through with it. I was afraid of commitment. I was afraid of infidelity and how much our relationship would change our relationship. I was in a panic!
I did go through it... LOL! I feel so silly at times and angry at other times because it seems like my ex is still getting to me through my memories. SIGH! I'm praying for you! BIG HUGS!