Matt found a new job within the weeks time I gave him. He started working nights at a near by factory. He would leave when I went to bed and when he got home I was leaving for my new job at a daycare. Life seemed great. I loved working with kids and Matt and I hardly ever saw each other except on the weekends.
He got violent again just before Halloween, it was so bad I called into work, but they came and got me anyway and made me come in. I didn't know how to explain it to my boss or my case worker who I still had to see. My boss lied for me and told my worker that a kid in my room had kicked me in the face when I was tickling him.
I was relieved that she didn't tell but at the same time I was dying inside. I was getting more and more depressed, it didn't matter what I did it still wasn't good enough.
Matt would get home in the morning and then drink until he went to bed around 3, he started making demands that i make his lunch and lay out his clothes and make sure he is up on time. If he wouldn't wake up it was my fault and I was to blame and I had to pay dearly. It may have been a slap in the face or me pulled to the floor by my hair followed by a kick to the thighs, stomach or back it all depended how I fell.
I was alone I had no car and had to depend on people for a ride to where ever I went. I was isolated. I realized slowly I had no friends, no one to turn to.
All I could think was I wish I was dead, so I started thinking of ways to do it.