I had lost all my energy and fight for life, I didn't want to do anything or talk to anyone. I didn't play with the kids like I should have, don't get me wrong I would play if they asked but I didn't have the drive to want to do anything.
Family services were out of my life and I had gotten all my rights back. You would figure that would be a happy time in my life...It really wasn't all it meant to me was Matt was free to start hitting again and being mean. It started slowly like in the beginning, he would hit me and then be sorry. I really didn't care if he was sorry or not, I didn't care about anything.
At Christmas time he proposed to me and I accepted, I figured I was stuck why not. I was 21 with three kids who would want me?
Matt started going to work early and getting home late, he was always on the phone (after he made sure to get it turned on) and would never take a call when when I was in the room. I caught him cheating on me. I thought about leaving but I changed my mind. I stayed.
I lost my job at the daycare because I lied about the reason I needed a day off and they fired me. I couldn't believe it, it was none of their business why I needed the day off but they fired me just the same.
I was sinking farther and farther down. Depression had me and wasn't letting go I didn't care about anything.