Fault

I finally quit taking Matt to work, and he refused to help with the kids yes he would take them every other weekend but if it cost any money to do anything he wouldn't give me a dime. When he would take the kids I would have to bring food for them to eat. It was ridiculous because he made three times the money I did but I did it because the kids wanted to see their dad.
I tried to be civil until one day I was waiting at the bus stop to pick the kids up from school and he decided to show up drunk. Not just a little drunk but wasted.  He then began screaming at me and telling everyone at the bus stop that I was a lesbian and that I was a whore and all sorts of other things. Luckily they all knew I was with a woman and knew all about the reasons I had left him.
When the kids got off the bus the girls immediately ran up to him and he put them in his car before I could stop him. John luckily got in my car. I followed him back to his house and went inside to get my girls. That is when he decided to attack me in front of my children. He punched me in the nose and pulled me around the kitchen by my hair, all while telling my children that I made him do this and that this was all my fault.
The kids were scared and crying and didn't know what was going on. I finally got away and got the kids out to my car and we drove away.
The hardest part about it was not the physical fight it was in the car when my kids looked at me and said "mommy why did you make daddy so mad" my whole heart broke.  My kids actually thought this was all my fault they thought I made him hit me. I had to try to explain to them that it wasn't my fault and I had to explain to them that we don't hit when we are angry and that is what daddy was doing, he was angry so he hit me.
I went to bed crying that night. I still look back and think wow I can't believe they thought it was my fault.
They do know now it isn't my fault when he gets mad.
I make it a point not to talk about him poorly around my children. They are seeing with their own eyes, as much as it pains me he is showing his true colors all on his own and they are seeing it. He no longer takes the kids on the weekend. Hell he never takes them at all. They don't even want to go over there. But that is a whole other story all on it's own and I am getting ahead of myself.
Thank you to everyone who has read this and who continue to follow this blog, again this is a true story it is my story and it is very hard to write I just hope it can help someone, anyone.