I had decided that I had to leave, I just didn't know how.
I started talking to friends more and talking to my family, when Matt would go to sleep I would leave and go any where but there. I started to enjoy my freedom. So on Friday nights when the kids would go to bed and Matt was sleeping I would go hang out at a friends house and we would talk about all kinds of things. I have known her since kindergarten she and still is my best friend.
I told her about everything, she knew about most of the abuse and the yelling. She was supportive and would just listen. She told me she would be there for me when I left. I had decided that when I left I would never be with another man again. I had been with women before and decided that was the way for me to go.
I had taken a domestic violence awareness class while the kids were in foster care, and statistically there is less violence in a lesbian relationship. I was having horrible nightmares about my abuse and i didn't want to be hurt anymore so my friend was the first person I told. She supported me 100%
I didn't plan on an immediate relationship I just knew I didn't want another man like the ones I had.
I wanted to forget all of that ever happened to me and my children.