My thoughts on dealing with depression after abuse

I have a hard time with depression.

There I said it, it is a very hard thing for me to admit, I used to not be allowed to have emotions, I couldn't cry because if I did it was weak, I couldn't be mad because it was just not allowed in that house, unless you were him. I still have trouble crying or letting people see me cry or even having people know I have been crying. I cry alone.

I have been very depressed these last two weeks and the bad part is I can't even say why. Here lately though it has been very hard to deal with, I just want to curl and in ball and let life go, I don't want to do anything or go anywhere, I would be content to just lay in bed and cry alone everyday all day.

Dealing with depression is very hard and if you are dealing with it like I am please seek help I know it is hard to admit that you need help with depression, and you probably think it will just go away on it's own, well it could, but it probably won't. It is a very dangerous thing. I can't tell you the number of times I have thought about killing myself in these last few weeks, I want to cut and I have, I am not proud of it but I have.

Talking about it is hard but really everyone needs help every once in a while so don't be afraid to ask for it. I talked to my best friend last night and told him (yes him, the only guy I trust) I was really depressed and he listened and talked to me about it. Talking about it really isn't bad, admitting that you are depressed doesn't make you weak it makes you stronger, and I think after talking about it for a while makes it easier.



Soooo after all my rambling, sorry, I want to tell you all to please seek help from some one anyone, a friend, a family member, or even find a counselor to help. It might save your life.



I hope everyone is having a wonderful day, I know I am TRYING to bring my day up.