Funny Story!!!

Yesterday was my sons birthday he turned 12, weeeeeeelllllllll being the wonderful mom I am I decided to embarrass him at the bus stop by picking him up like a baby and singing happy birthday obnoxiously loud! ( I know, I know not cool)

So last night I was showing my girlfriend what I did and I picked my son up again, I was off balance, she didn't know it, she pulled my sons foot and I started to fall. Not wanting to drop my son I held him closer so I took the brunt of the fall, where I hit my hip, messing up my hips and back, then his knee jacks me in the jaw uppercut style. I cannot move my mouth much and I have a bruise the size of Texas on my hip/leg area, and my back hurts soooooo bad.


Moral of the story DO NOT do things to willingly embarrass your children you will get paid back for it in the end.


I think the best part of it all was my son was worried about me and I was worried about him, so while I was making sure he was ok he was doing the same. I know he is only 12 but he is showing signs of being and amazing little man, I am a proud momma.


Today I cannot tell you the times he asked me if I was ok. He is awesome...

That is my funny story, Hope you all are being safe if you are on the east coast and I hope you all are doing well!!!!

I have been thinking

I took in someone who is trying to get off heroin, she is a very young sweet girl. She has been with me for two days and she is getting better everyday which I am so proud of.

Today I left here a note on her pillow when she went to work, yes she has a full time job, that just plainly stated I was proud of her and that I believed in her. To me,  not thinking,  it was no big deal,  but I made her whole day the look on her face when she found it was amazing.

So on to my thought if everyone took time out of their day just to pass on a little bit of kindness this world would go so far. To me it didn't mean much but to her it made her whole day. You never know how far a smile will travel or even a simple kind word. It is just something to think about. I know this isn't a huge blight or anything, hell I don't know how many people actually read it but for those that do or should really give you something to think about.

A smile doesn't cost a thing, a simple thank you doesn't either.

I hope you all have a great day wherever you are. :)

Hey you!

never be ashamed

Helping others

It seems like when I am at lowest point I find someone who needs help.more than I do, and it always makes me realize that if I wasn't here they wouldn't be either.

These people always have something I can do to help whether it is just a place to sleep for the night or help getting off a horrible kind of drug. I am no kind of therapist or counselor bit these people listen to my advise and do what I ask of them, and at the end it makes me happy to know that I made even a small difference in that persons life and like maybe I am here for a reason.

Right now I have a friend who is trying to stop heroin, she is going on day 4 of cold turkey quitting. I am so proud of her. We really aren't that good of friend so I really don't know why she came to me but I am so glad she did, I have sat and talked to her through her pain, held her and rocked her when she has thought she couldn't do it, and I wonder to myself why can't o do this for myself. How is it so easy to help.others when I cannot even help myself. I know everyone is here for a reason I really thought mine was here to do hair, but then I realized tonight while telling this girl she can do this and the she is amazing that I do help, I may not.be helping hundreds of people but I do make a  small difference in some peoples lives.

I just want all of you to know that you.may not know what it is yet but you are destined for great things, so don't give up yet. I know I will have my moments still but realizing that I can help someone is a great feeling.

I hope you are having a wonderful day wherever you are.

I cut again

I am having a lot of trouble right now with self harm. I have been cutting more and more each day. Last night I probably should have gone and gotten stitched up but I went to bed instead.
I really wish this depression would go away, I just don't know.if.I can shake.it.this.time and believe.me I am trying.

I just thought I would let everyone know what was going on with.

My thoughts on dealing with depression after abuse

I have a hard time with depression.

There I said it, it is a very hard thing for me to admit, I used to not be allowed to have emotions, I couldn't cry because if I did it was weak, I couldn't be mad because it was just not allowed in that house, unless you were him. I still have trouble crying or letting people see me cry or even having people know I have been crying. I cry alone.

I have been very depressed these last two weeks and the bad part is I can't even say why. Here lately though it has been very hard to deal with, I just want to curl and in ball and let life go, I don't want to do anything or go anywhere, I would be content to just lay in bed and cry alone everyday all day.

Dealing with depression is very hard and if you are dealing with it like I am please seek help I know it is hard to admit that you need help with depression, and you probably think it will just go away on it's own, well it could, but it probably won't. It is a very dangerous thing. I can't tell you the number of times I have thought about killing myself in these last few weeks, I want to cut and I have, I am not proud of it but I have.

Talking about it is hard but really everyone needs help every once in a while so don't be afraid to ask for it. I talked to my best friend last night and told him (yes him, the only guy I trust) I was really depressed and he listened and talked to me about it. Talking about it really isn't bad, admitting that you are depressed doesn't make you weak it makes you stronger, and I think after talking about it for a while makes it easier.



Soooo after all my rambling, sorry, I want to tell you all to please seek help from some one anyone, a friend, a family member, or even find a counselor to help. It might save your life.



I hope everyone is having a wonderful day, I know I am TRYING to bring my day up.

This is too true

I saw this on Facebook and I know it was supposed to be a joke but, having been in an abusive relationship I know it isn't funny. This is too true, and this is part of the reason abused people do not call the cops.
It is hard to call the cops when the one time you do they tell you that their hands are tied and there is nothing they can do about it.

So I just thought I would share it with you all.

I am sure everyone has heard

But October is Domestic Violence awareness month and I want everyone to know that it is NOT ok to be hit or talked down to or even to be called names, it is not ok.

I understand it is hard to get out of certain situations but when you get the first chance RUN and do not look back, I know you love him/her but love doesn't hurt psychically, it does not hurt your feelings and make you cry, it just doesn't.

I am a survivor I am no longer a victim, I am me and I will never allow another person to lay their hands on me. It has taken me a long time to be able to say that, but I can now, thankfully. I can not control what certain people say to me but I can choose to ignore it and I am doing really well with that. I still struggle everyday with PTSD, that is something I know will never go away and that is my battle, but I am stronger for it. I know my limits and I know what I can and cannot do. I do have set backs and I feel horrible but I know I will be ok.



So please if you are being abused or you know someone is being abused please get some help or think it is none of your business you could save someone's life.




I hope everyone has a great day !!!!
<3