When I first started this blog I thought that the PTSD couldn't get any worse I thought I was living the worst of it then. Well it turns out I was wrong and silly to think that that was all there was to it. There are some days it is very hard for me to even function. There are times I don't want to leave my house or even my room. I have cut myself and harmed myself just trying to make it all stop and go away.
It is very hard for me to admit to some of these things cutting is a horrible thing and once you start it is hard to stop doing. For me I used to do it when I was younger now that I am older I started again, it is horrible it is hard to explain to your loved ones what you are doing and why. It has almost gotten to the point that I don't think my partner wants me to go to the bathroom alone.
I feel like a shell of my former self I am scared of everything I am scared to sleep and I don't want to be awake I just feel lost and broken. The worst part is these so called men could still do this to someone else. They have broken me, I fear, beyond repair.
I really and truly hope no one else feels like I do i wish there were more places to help the abused, I see things all the time for our veterans which is great don't get me wrong but there are a ton of abused people who need help too.
I am writing this so everyone knows If you ever need someone to talk to who you don't know and WILL NOT judge you feel free to email me at 2yellowpenguins@gmail.com. I will talk with you and I will listen.
It is horrible to be in the situation I am in and not have anyone to talk to who won't judge you, I do have some one who will listen but I hate how sad it makes them when I do talk to them about it.
I hope everyone has a wonderful day!!!
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